I know I use that same old tired excuse of "ooohh life is so busy, blah blah blah", but no really...this year has kicked my butt. Both bad and amazingly good.
Let's start with the bad, slide into the good and finish with a photo montage. Who doesn't LOVE a montage?!?!
BAD: Soooo pregnancy for me, has been extremely difficult. And by difficult I mean, really fucking hard and emotionally draining. I found out in my second trimester that I have placenta previa. What is placenta previa? Great question:
Noun 1. placenta previa - pregnancy in which the placenta is implanted in the lower part of the uterus (instead of the upper part); can cause bleeding late in pregnancy; delivery by cesarean section may be necessary.
Basically I have a lot of scar tissue in my uterus so when it came time for my placenta to attached it's self to my uterus wall, it attached too low. It is completely covering my cervix, making vaginal birth impossible. Impossible like, the baby and myself can die. So this means I can't go into labor, have to have a c-section 3 weeks before my due date and for a few weeks I had to be put on "light bed rest" to avoid any bleeding, because when you have a previa, bleeding is very bad, mmkoi? All it entailed in the beginning, was cut work hours down from 40 to 30, no lifting of anything over 15 pounds, no exercise and no sex. Ok this sucks, but I can live with that if it means my baby and myself are healthy.
Flash forward a few weeks...I'm at work, under some stress because I was put onto insulin for Gestational Diabetes and just general stress and I begin to spot again. In a panic I call my ob and she tells me that is it, FULL BED REST until baby comes.
Ummmm are you for real!?!?
Oh yes, she was for real.
As of today, I have been on bed rest nearly 10 weeks. Yes friends, 9.5 long weeks. In those 9.5 weeks, I have managed to watch every interesting documentary on Netflix, make 20 pair of beaded earrings, re-watch all my seasons of CSI Vegas, watch all of the slightly and even not so interesting television shows on Netflix and Hulu, fold and re-fold all the babies clothes, aaaaannnnd found the time to develop pregnancy induced Asthma. Yes, I hit the jackpot friends.
I have had to go to labor and delivery twice for some scares, but thankfully everything went well and everything is still planned for a Jan 13 birth.
Despite all these really crappy things, our son, (yes it is a boy), is perfectly healthy, growing at a normal rate, has no issues, and will be here in 16 more days. Yes I am ecstatic. I have tried so very hard to stay positive with this pregnancy, and had a few moments of breaking down feeling like I couldn't get through all this and being upset that I wasn't having the pregnancy I had hoped for nor would I have the birth Cory and I had dreamed of for over two years.
Then reality slapped me, hard. I am PREGNANT...hellooooo dummy, WE DID IT...after trying for over two years and 5 rounds of Clomid! Cory and I created a life. So what it has been hard on my body, so what Cory and I are barely making ends meet on one salary while I'm off work for nearly 4 months. I will be ok once baby comes, my body will go back to normal and my son is healthy...we really did it. This is for sure my first, and last, pregnancy and I am truly blessed and grateful. Period.
As far as "BAD" goes, that is it really. I mean there have been a lot of horrific things happening in the world, but I can't let myself go down that rabbit hole right now. I have to focus on Kai, and Cory and Chekota. My family. Now that I have a family, it's what I care about first and foremost. I get it now. All those years trying to understand how parents sacrifice so much for their family, how Cory and I are making plans and decisions for our kids. Totes a game changer.
Now for the GOOOOOD!
Chekota is ours! Her bio parents gave up parental rights to her two months ago as they realized they can not care for her and felt it was not in Chekota's best interest to take her from the only home and family she has known. They had a second child in the process of all this. Her adoption is almost final and we decided to have an open adoption so when Chekota is old enough and want's to know who her bio parents are, she will have that option. It was a long and hard year for everyone. I opened up to her bio mom and managed to build a good relationship with her. She knows Chekota is safe and loved and that we will never say mean things about her to Chekota. It is not our place and Chekota needs to figure out how she feels about where she came from on her own. All she knows now is that she is loved and safe. Fostering kids is such a wonderful gift and true challenge of what you are capable of giving with no guarantees. We truly were blessed when that little girl entered our life. So yeah, two kids in one year. Wheeeew.
We moved yet again this year, out to Gresham. I know, Gresham, but really it isn't bad. It's just like the Valley, seriously. Our apartment is nice and has a washer and dryer in the unit. Our neighbors.....eah I wouldn't be sad if they moved out..but no need to get ugly in the "Good" section of this wrap up!
We keep talking about moving to LA, moving to Vermont, moving to St. Johns.....we just need to get through Kai's birth, settle back into our "normal" life, and go from there. So maybe in another year or so, we will have a better grasp on what in the hell we are doing.
Work is still amazing and hard and wonderful and I miss being there with my NAYA family so much. Only another month then I will be back in the fold, and I can't wait.
There is so much more, but I will keep that private...just a lot of friend love going around and family love and I just am truly grateful for all of you.
Now onto the photos!
